Long, lacy summer

I still consider myself a somewhat novice knitter. I haven't been knitting for all that long but I do feel like I've learnt alot of knitting techniques in the short amount of time that I've been knitting - cables, knitting in the round, stranded work, socks, DPNs, magic loop - but lace has scared me somewhat. The concept of very very fine yarn, smallish needles and the complete untinkability of the whole thing puts me off but with some convincing from some SnB friends and some unbelieveably gorgeous yarn from Elissa I've decided to give it a go. Bells is hosting a long lacy summer thingie over at her blog and some of the work is just amazing - check out RoseReds Forest Canopy shawl, Bells Adamas shawl , Caffeine Faieries shawl or Kiss My Frogs Gust - all of which I may one day aspire to achieving. But for now this is my contribution to the long lacy summer Not sure that this really classifies as lace because the yarn is a 4py but I'm enjoying it none the less and I'm totally in love with the yarn both for workability and for the colours - definitely "me" and while I can't quite 'see' the pattern yet I have faith that with a fair amount of blocking she'll come out OK....

Happy Birthday Charlotte v1.0

In total Charlotte will have three birthday celebrations, one today with her friends at FDC, one on the weekend with the family and a little morning tea on Monday with some other friends. I have been sick this week with a revolting hayfever/allergy lurgy, Izaak has got larangytis and Charlotte has been feeling awful as well so while I did know and realise that I needed to get a cake ready for today the actual planning/baking bit had been forgotten. I woke up suddenly at 12:30 am this morning in a panic - went through the possibilities which were a) no cake - celebrate with FDC on Tuesday next week instead b) drop her off and have an afternoon cake giving me the day to bake c) go to the cheesecake shop on the way to care and pick up a cake d) get up at 1am and bake.....

2am fall into bed and leave the decorating for the morning. Given the handmade/consumption challenge I'm trying to achieve I decided we would make do with what was around the house to decorate her cake. I had lots of pink icing left over and was feeling too lazy to make anything else to glue eyes on so the bug does look slightly drugged but otherwise not too bad I think.....

Christmas Monkeys

I've been struggling with christmas ideas for my two nephews given that they have absolutey everything. Too many clothes, toys, books, puzzles - too much of everything really and I know that my sister doesn't understand/appreciate the time, effort and energy that goes into handmade gifts so I was reluctant to knit anything for them.

Then I came across this tutorial for sock monkeys and thought this would be a quick and easy gift that won't upset me when, in a month after christmas, I find them in the bottom of the toy box or under the bed - forgotten. So today (my first day without children or uni!!) I sat down with these

and created this

As a prototype I think this will be Charlotte's after she gets a smile and some eyes - the monkey that is, as far as I'm aware Charlotte's smile and eyes are present and accounted for!. I made a complete mess of the ears so this one is ear-less but not bad for 4 hours work. Economical too given that I used about a quarter of a bag of hobbyfill ($5 for the whole 200gr bag) and $4 for 2 pairs of socks so it meets all the requirements - handmade, cheap, unique. Will definitely be making more of these!

This is.... something I'm surprised I like...

I've been inspired to share after reading what some friends like



I love her but it has taken some time.

Charlotte was a very much wanted, very much planned pregnancy and apart from some revolting morning (all day!) sickness I was well and happy during the pregnancy. I had a plan and this was my initial downfall. We were living in Brisbane at the time and at 30 weeks I went down to Canberra to my parents to work for my mum for 4 weeks then I was planning on coming home and spending a good six weeks at home relaxing, preparing and spending one on one time with Izaak before the new arrival. It wasn't to be.

Three days after I flew home I woke up feeling really off and then started having contractions. I was starting to stress when we called the hospital and they told us to come in - I hadn't packed a hospital bag, Izaak wasn't ready for daycare and ex-partner was at work. Some quick calls, dropped the boy off and headed into hospital where I was sure they would give me some drugs to stop my contractions and send me home - after all, I was only 35 weeks pregnant!

3:20pm and born by emergency c-section my daughter was born into the world.

She was taken to the NICU and I was sewn up. One of my most outstanding memories of the time was laying in recovery after the operation had finished. Charlotte's dad was with her (at my request - I didn't want her to be alone!) and I was laying in recovery crying because it was all so wrong. I had just had a baby but she wasn't with me, she was here too early. It was all just so surreal. Hospital wasn't nice for me - the lady in the bed next to me was really lovely but she had her baby there with her and I didn't. I had to walk all the way to the NICU to see her which wasn't nice post-c-section anyway but I didn't get to have the snuggles, crying, nappies or any of it. We did get her home much earlier than anyone had expected so in the end it all worked out. Or so I had thought.

Fast forward to Charlotte being around 10 months and things weren't going well. I hadn't bonded with her and felt awful. She had interrupted my life and disrupted my plan. She was a great breastfeeder, great sleeper and an all around good baby - for everyone else. I will always remember a particular day when we were at the shops and her dad was feeding her some puree veges while we were eating lunch. He went to get a coffee and handed it all over to me - she refused to eat and when I got 1 spoon into her mouth she blew raspberries all over me. He came back and she scoffed the rest. At that point we realised that I needed some help and I saw a lovely lady from NSW Mental Health. I didn't fit the criteria for PND but was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder - I had so much riding on my 'plan' that went it all went pear shaped I just wasn't able to cope.

Charlotte is about to turn 3 and our relationship has come along in leaps and bounds. I still have days when I find it hard to cope with her but on the whole I think we have a more 'normal' mother-daughter relationship. Thankfully! Love you Cha!

FO - Radiating Star Blanket

This is the first of the christmas list that I can cross off! This blankie is for my nanna who, as a fellow knitter, will actually appreciate and use it!

It's the first time I've had to wet block anything and after spending more than an hour with it I know it's not a perfect circle but CBA changing it - again! Any hints for blocking in a circle?

Pattern - Radiating Star Blanket

Yarn - Bendy Rustic 12 ply - Colour 'Red Tweed'

Needles - 7mm

The yarn usage is rather deceptive - I got to round 59 on the first ball and then ran out of yarn so it's actually 10 rows smaller than it should have been. I'm happy with this though and it was only 4 nights of work so it went by really quickly.

Oh and because I'm such a mean mum.....

Charlotte with a head cold. Not a happy chappy!

Productivity...

on a few fronts.

I was at Spotty's and found some half decent fabric for boys and needed some for some christmas sewing but I couldn't resist a rainbow skull fabric for Izaak. I'm normally not really into skulls but the rainbow colours had me! Of course as soon as the hem was finished Charlotte started asking for her own 'pirate pants' but I didn't have enough fabric. Some 'creative' moments and they were off to pirate a ship to a far far far far far away (according to Izaak!) island to find some treasure.

The garden is looking relatively good with flowers on the lemon tree and for the first time tonight I'm eating burritos with home grown lettuce! Yay for me :-)

and finally....

My 1st ever HD ;-)

Perspective

It's all about perspective really isn't it....

When you're a teenager complaining about having a cannula put in your hand to get drugs that will fix a very treatable disease it seems disasterous but just down the hallway there is a baby who has already had more than five operations and will endure a lifetime of complicated medical problems and will never live a 'normal' life yet smiles at the staff who are come to give him more painful procedures. Perspective.

I think my life is tough sometimes and juggling uni, kids, housework, study etc is draining but another student doing the same course as me has five children and home and works a part time job as well. Again - it's all about perspective.

This too is all about perspective and sometimes I think we should take a step back, look at the life we have rather than what we don't have and be thankful for it.

'Something new'

There was a swap recently over at Woolaholics where we had to try a new technique for a swapee. Deb (aka Mooska) and I were both too late on the sign ups so we decided to have a private swap and now that she has her parcel I can post about it!!

Firstly I did some dyeing which you've seen before...

For the first time ever I knitted socks! It was really exciting and I was challenged quite a few times and the socks did get thrown against the wall but I did finish them. They are 8ply Lincraft Cosy Wool and it's the Brigid pattern which I really like. I'm now about to start another pair for my nanna for christmas...

Hope you enjoyed your parcel Deb!

Birthday anxiety

Many a time I've talked about my blog being my therapist and lately I've been feeling anxious and need a therapy session...

Izaak was developmentally normal up to around his third birthday when he lost his social skills, stopped talking and generally started developing all his autistic traits. I love my son, I absolutely adore every single day that I wake up and have him in my life but I am also realistic enough to know that he will struggle to operate in 'normal' society and he will face many challenges throughout his life.

Charlotte turns 3 in less than a fortnight. I'm scared. and anxious and worried. Of course sharing this with my family is useless because, as usual, they don't understand me - the alcohol thing is exactly the same! grrr! - and can't see why I would be worried. I know that the chances are smaller because she is a girl and she is ahead of her milestones and blah blah blah blah blah but what if all that changes? What if suddenly I become the full time studying while single parenting two autistic children. How on earth am I going to manage? What will become of my sanity? My life? My future?

I know I'm getting a little ahead of myself here but I can't help it. It is causing me a fair deal of anxiety lately. Now I'm at a point where I just have to accept that things will be what they will be and life will go on no matter what happens. Now knowing that I have to accept it and getting to that point of acceptance is two entirely different things!

I know all little people do it.... but.....

I was hoping mine never would.

This morning I woke up and could hear my two little lovelies talking to each other and for a split second thought 'oh this is nice... they aren't fighting...'. They both came in for a cuddle and then I noticed that Charlotte's hair looked a bit strange. Further investigation revealed...

So at 9am we'll be heading off to the hairdresser to see if it is at all possible to some how sort out the crazy mess that her head is now in. Today I'll be moving all the scissors to a higher shelf where she can't reach them although I'm reluctant too because it means that Izaak, who hasn't done anything wrong, can't access them either.

Funnny thing? She's just had her 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 year checks done and the only thing that she isn't doing well at? Yep - scissor skills!

Scary Santa Season....

is fast approaching! It's just less than 10 weeks until the fat man in the red suit decends although the retail market is certainly flourishing with christmas merchandise as my lunch partner and I discovered today.


So tonight I've sat down and made a few lists of things that need to get organised and made before school finishes. Uni comes to an end in the next fortnight so I'll have a few (5 I worked out!!) weeks of kid-free time before the end of uni and the end of school during. So I will have 5 weeks to create masterpieces of craftiness for the family/friends.


I'm planning on some oven mitts for my dad, possibly a beer cozy for my mum, socks for my sister to wear under her work shoes, shorts for nephews x 2, possibly a cape or two for my little treasures (I really like this pattern too because it moves away from the licensed character stuff), some house/bed socks for my nanna and a beanie for my other dad. There are a few other baked goodies and little nick nack sorts of thingies. I want to get the kids to paint onto some canvas bags as well this year and give those as well. I'm really trying to avoid buying new as much as possible.

So... what are you planning for your loved ones this festive season? I'd love to hear!

The story of stuff

Since I was pregnant with Charlotte and probably a bit before that I, along with a growing number of people, became interested and concerned about the planet, what we're doing to it and where it will all end. Soon after we moved to Canberra a met a wonderful woman who is one of the most amazing examples of anti-consumerism who motivated me to make changes in my life but more importantly in my thinking. It worries me though that while the kids are getting these messages at home, society around them is saying very different things, ads on TV, kids in the playground at school, even my own family is driving me nuts!!

Thinking about the things that we do in our home...
- We are clothed from the op-shop around 90% of the time (underwear and shoes are my must-have-new items though)
- Changed from paper napkins and tissues to hankies and proper cloth napkins
- Cloth nappied Charlotte (and it's been rubbing off!)
- We are trying to have one day (Sat/Sun) where we don't use the car. I'm definitely finding this one the hardest! We're close enough to walk to town but if we want to see mum or dad we have to drive over to see them.
- Limiting the use of cling wraps etc and trying to use plastic containers more for storage
- Buying in bulk for things like rice/flour/potatoes to try and cut down on the packaging - same thing with yoghurt. I used to buy the 6 little tubs but we're now getting the 1kg pack and decanting this into little containers.
- Making my own cleaning products - I use the kitchen one and have been using the concentrated laundry soap recipe for a few months now

Then I think about what the kids are exposed to while they're away from me
- For Izaak - the ads on TV are a killer. Every toy, every take away - he has to have. I'm not sure if it's an age thing or an autistic thing but he can't see/understand that things aren't literal - i.e an ad for KFC uses the tage "keeps the family happy" so recently when something was bothering me he told me we had to have KFC for dinner because it will make us as a family happy. I hate the exploitation of children through messages like these and am contemplating getting rid of the TV again for a while.
- My family - As a household with 3 adults and 2 children under the age of 3, they generate around 480 litres of garbage - A WEEK!. Yep - 2 big bin fulls. They do have 2 children in disposables full time but the food wastage in their house is unreal.

I have to admit though that while in the past I've been able to stick to my anti-buying stance, recently I've been caught up in the need-to-have-it or it's-a-bargain lures of yarn. I really don't need it and while some good fortunes have meant I've been able to afford it I'm now feeling terribly guilty about the ridiculous amount of yarn I have compared to the amount of knitting that I actually get done. So I've got an order in for some Bendy cotton with a friend and another fellow knitter was nice enough to get me some yarn on her recent holiday but I am pledging that there will not be any more yarn coming into this house until next year. I don't need any more and I've just let myself get caught up in the excitement/rush of buying and having stuff which is what I have been trying to avoid! Interesting thought really.... why does buying make me feel so good? Even when it's stuff I don't really need. Anyway, if you're interested in the issues around stuff, consumerism, consumption and the like this video is worth a look.

Look what I made....

I started yesterday morning with 200 gr of white spotlight basics 8ply yarn. Today, it was wound into a cake and looks like this - not bad I reckon!

Serious fashionista!

What happens when you let an almost 3 year old (and wow does it scare her mother to think that in 3 weeks her little baby will be turning three!) dress herself....

Yep - a stunner! That's a shirred sundress on back to front, legwarmers on the arms and her brothers beanie.

That's my girl :-)

Foggy

Just a quick note to say sorry to the friends who I've been slack in returning emails, phone calls, texts etc over the past week or so.
Life is getting in the way and things are feeling a little foggy.
Be back soon....