I love my work

I honestly feel really blessed to be in a job where I wake up 90% of the time and think that I really do want to go to work.

I love....
..... being able to contribute to serious medical discussions and decision making meetings
..... making a difference to the lives of sick children and their families
..... learning new things every single day
..... smiling - and having a little person smiling back at me
..... going home and realising that although things in my house aren't perfect - they are a damned site better than what it could be
..... my job!

Crazy Times

I could bleet on about how long it's been, why I haven't blogged and all that jazz but I don't want to waste my time (or yours!!) Let's just say life has been crazy and lovely and wonderful but I haven't been online very much so the blog has been neglected.

Events from the past little while though.....

Nanna had a visit not that long ago and we got some lovely photos of the family. I know that our time together is limited so each time I see her I seem to take more and more photos. I am anxious about making memories for the kids about their great grandma - she's the most amazing, wonderful, resourceful woman and at time I've wondered if I really belong in this family because I am SO different to the rest of them but I talk to Nanna and realise that I belong. Completely. I love her so much it hurts. This would have to be my absolute favourite photo - this is my entire family - all 10 of us!

Gee.... forced much? This was at the park recently where the kids have really enjoyed riding their bikes now that the weather is getting a little bit warmer.

With the weather warming up we've also bought a blow up pool. Now, in my defence, maths is not one of my strong points, so converting feet to meters didn't really go so well - the pool takes up my ENTIRE back yard! I can't hang washing on the line now, thank goodness for drying racks! The kids have thoroughly enjoyed it though and have had plenty of pool play dates - this pic is of our little neighbour Katie. Hard to believe but Miss Katie is actually six months younger than Charlotte - she's a tall girl!! Both the girls are heading off to school next year so it's an exciting time for everyone around here ;-)

- Charlotte turned five and we had a nice quiet dinner at home with the family. I seem to be raising an amazingly responsible and socially aware little person as when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday I was told no clothes or toys because she has enough of those and other kids don't have any so it wouldn't be fair for her to get more. In some ways my little angel is so much older than her five years.

We've lay-byed her school uniforms for next year. I'm feeling so conflicted about her starting school - I'm excited and looking forward to it because she is SO ready and needs the extra stimulation and learning opportunities but at the same time I'm sad because she is growing up so fast and starting school is one of those big milestones.

It's that time of the year yet again and the kids had a great time putting the tree up - I need to get some better pics of the tree but I put the lights on and then let them go for it and I'm pleasantly surprised at how well they've done! The tree looks fab and it was so nice for me to see them co-operating, negotiating and just being nice to each other while they were getting the tree done! As they are getting older it seems like they are fighting less and less - it has been rather pleasant in my house of late although I'm conscious that it may not last so making the most of it!

Charlotte is graduating from preschool today so I've made the fairy bread, charged the camera batteries and put the waterproof mascara on and am off to see my little honey ;-)

Domestic Bliss - or something like that....

Remeber that day not so long ago that was the down side of the roller coaster? I think today must be the flip side then. Although I didn't sleep well (I'm dreaming alot lately and not in a good way!!) I found these when I opened the front door this morning... What a nice way to start the day! and considering they were accompanied by some mint chocolates I'd say it was an awesome way to start a Sunday. A few hours on and they are sitting on my kitchen bench making me smile ;-) I'm cooking dinner for the neighbours tonight and thought I'd go out on a limb and try something new (see I am getting there with my goals!!) so we are having twice cooked pork belly which smells divine and looks like this at the moment (excuse the dirty oven door!)....

The two little people of the house and playing together quietly upstairs which, is itself, a miracle. Had to get a sneeky shot of them - if they see me they immediately turn on each other and then to me! They are delightful little ones at the moment - this week saw Izaak turn nine. We had a nice, small, family gathering and quite a low key birthday after last years big party it was nice. Charley is Charley as always ;-)

I'm spending quite a bit of time reading and re-reading parts of my book for this month and am really getting alot out of it. Strategies which I have started to use and slowly but slowly I'm feeling like I'm turning a corner. I'm not sure how much of it is the strategies, how much of it is thanks to my newly found homeopath and how much of it is time or a combination of all three but in any case I am learning alot.

I'm learning that it's okay for me to feel angry. It's okay to feel sad and hurt and upset. It's how I choose to deal with these feelings that is really the test of my character - I'm learning to take time to spend just with myself and my inner feelings. I'm *trying* to learn to meditate. Previously I started a gratitude journal (and even blogged about it!) but as usual life got in the way and it fell by the wayside. My book talks about the value of gratitude and I've re-started my journal - I'm sitting here right now feeling thankful for the beautiful flowers I recieved today, the peace of my children playing together, the love of my family, my skills in the kitchen and the lovely smells around me. On a recent trip to Civic my Mum bought me an electric oil burner and I'm loving it! Today I've got 'strawberries & cream' in there and it smells divine ;-)

There is alot to be thankful for - it just takes the time and mindset to find them and recognise them, a path that I hope I'm on!!

I'm a duck

I feel like a duck sometimes - above the surface it all looks good but underneath the surface I'm paddling like crazy to keep my head above water!! This week I'm determined to keep my head held high, think positive and be kind to myself.

We set off at 5pm for a quick ride/scoot/walk around the block and I was really taken by the blossom trees in our street. I love driving home in the mornings and afternoons and watching them bloom - they have been a crafting project for Charlotte at preschool as well so she is always on the lookout for them. They make me smile and realise that there is always another day.

Baking away the blues

I'm trying hard not to let myself go down the slippery slope into a big black hole so I've been keeping busy and doing a fair amount of baking. The family decided to have a morning tea get together for fathers day with each of us bringing something to share. I decided against the fool-proof one-bowl chocolate cake that I take EVERYWHERE and thought I would try something new.

I spotted these Portugese Custard Tarts over at Not Quite Nigella and I had all the ingredients in the house so thought I'd give them a try. I had never had one of these tarts until a friends daughters birthday morning tea and I fell in love with them straight away but tales of pastry woes and oven issues had put me off them.

This recipe uses puff pastry and they turned out beautifully!! I made a batch of 12 on Sunday for Fathers Day and then another one Sunday night for neighbours/lunches/desserts. It's now 12pm on Monday and I have none left!! Clearly they are a hit and definitely something I'll be including in the repertoire more often now ;-)

Bleugh

I'm feeling bleugh. Really bleugh at the moment.

There is alot from my past that has been reignited lately and I really am struggling to come to grips with things right now. It's hard to be objective and to think of what's best for my daughter as opposed to what is what I want.

I'm trying hard. I'm trying to be that smiling little yellow chickie but unfortunately the days lately seem to be more blue than anything else ;-(

Spring has sprung!

well it will be tomorrow so I thought it was a good chance to come and look back on August and see how I went with my goals.....

Work...... Well the transition has been CONSIDERABLY harder than I thought it would be and to be honest, I'm really not feeling the love. The standards and practices of the ward leave alot to be desired. I've also managed to get on the wrong side of one of the senior staff already so I'm pretty sure it's all downhill from there. I was asked to give meds to a patient through a tube feed but when I asked for a new syringe since the old one was crusty and disgusting I was told "it doesn't matter, he's leaving tomorrow, just use that one because they are so expensive". ARGH!! So many things that I've seen there go completely against my core values and what I see as being good quality nursing care. 32 shifts to go and then I'm out of there!! Bring on November 11!!

Housework.... I promise, other than doing this mornings brekky dishes this is the true representation of my house. I'm proud of myself for really keeping on top of things over the month. It makes me feel so much less cluttered in the mind as well as feeling happier and more in control of my physical surroundings.
This is my new kitchen island bench that my wonderful neighbour built for me which I am currently in love with! So much space now!! Plus it breaks up the kitchen area from being one big area into a clearly defined space. Love it and for the bargain price of $150 I couldn't be happier! The stain came out exactly as I was hoping and it matches the new bookshelf and TV unit really well. The house is certainly coming together and it feels great!!

Knitting.... I cast on and cast off this neckwarmer made from Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran yarn which I was lucky enough to recieve in a swap on Ravelry. This yarn is super yummy and while I'm happy with my neckwarmer I think it needs to be re-blocked a little wider. I'm also heading to spotties in the next few days for buttons. What do you think??

Reading.... I was able to finish the power of one and I have to say I was somewhat underwhelmed. It wasn't as good as I had remembered it to be but I still enjoyed the writing style. This month I'm delving into the world of self-help with "Road testing Happiness" - I started reading it last night and so far I'm picking up a few things and have found myself nodding at quite a few parts of it!! I'm also going to read "The Time Travelers Wife" which I picked up at the oppy for the grand sum of one dollar the other day. I've heard good things about it so hopefully it will live up to it's expectations!!

Blog... Well the post count is up and I've enjoyed writing. I'm also starting a personal journal which is giving me another writing outlet. I feel somewhat lighter letting go of my head and getting it down onto paper.

Friends..... I've been spending a fair amount of time with the above-mentioned new neighbours and it has been lovely to share time with a family who has similar values and principles as mine, as an added bonus the kids get along swimmingly and have been bike riding/scooting/playing together quite a bit.

Menu planning..... let's just tide that one over to next month shall we.......