Unravel.....

Today I was at work to get through all the mandatory training updates that I have to do each year - the pain management ones, fire and emergency training, infection control - all the usual subjects. The final one of the day was basic life support and it was at this point that the day started falling apart.

Let me go back a few months....we had a patient who I had nursed on a number of admissions and each time this wonderful woman came through the ward doors I was always keen for a chat to find out how life had been going for her and her boys (she had two boys, one of which was autistic so we had a bit in common). She had been a historian and had PhD for which she had worked on tracing acient langugaes - how they travelled to different geological locations and how they developed over time. She was amazing.

2:22 on a Thursday morning there was an emergency resus code on our ward which I was involved in and which resulted in this womans death. It was the first time I had ever performed CPR outside of a training scenario. It was awful. During the resus we applied an AED which is an automated defibrilator and we did shock her. It was awful.

Fast forward to today and as soon as the instructor ripped open the packed on the AED I had a lump in my throat. A big one. Then I heard the automated voice and I wished an enormous hole would open up and swallow me whole. I closed my eyes and all I could see was this dead womans eyes, the way her jugular line would ooze every time we compressed her chest. The phone call I had to make. I felt absolutely ill.

I walked out of the room, head spinning, eyes wet and feeling just awful. Composed myself, went back in and finished the session but as soon as I got in the car I burst into tears and cried all the way home. Cried for the loss of a woman who was amazing, cried for two little boys who will have a lifetime of mothers days, birthdays and christmas celebrations without the woman who bought them into this world. It sucks. Life sucks.

Beating budget blues

I desperately DESPERATELY want to have a mortgage. I want a home of my own. Now I know that it is just not going to happen in this town - property is ridiculously over priced and there is no way I can afford anything here on just one income so I have been glancing further afield.

Tamworth is a big contender given that I spent a large part of my childhood there. I know the town fairly well and it's big enough to have a hospital that offers alot of services but small enough that it has that country feel to it as well. Apart from the crazy few weeks in January when the country music festival is on I really like the place. The only down side for me is that it is quite a way away from the coast and therefore the beach.

Wagga Wagga is also a big enough but small enough option although I don't know all that much about it. I need to research schools in the area a little bit more but the hospital seems quite okay - smaller than Tamworth but it's something I'm willing to go with for the opportunity to have a place all of my own.

Any other suggestions? I'd love somewhere on the coast but that just doesn't seem to be a realistic option - there isn't anywhere that has reasonably priced homes for sale and a decent sized hospital and services for my little spunk. I'd love to hear ideas though!!

Looking at properties and mortgages also makes me realise and get motivated about my budget. Examining and re-examining, trying to find the fat and trim it off - I think I'm on track at the moment!!

Housey stuff

So last year I blogged about my struggle to keep the organisation up and the messy down within my house with, in my mind anyway!, the infamous 'before' and 'after' pictures of the house. Since then I have acquired a few more pieces of furniture and this week another piece of furniture will arrive in my lovely little abode.

And in my previous post I talked about wanting to get a new bedroom suite - the one I have is the only piece leftover from my partnered days. Every time I walk into that room and see that bed it has too many memories attached to it. This is my bedroom as it looks like at this minute....

As I said earlier I have made a few furniture purchases and I like to think that I am a considerate and thoughtful purchaser - I like my pieces to be able to used in a variety of situations and rooms. One example is this 'easy build' set from Howards. It has been a TV unit, makeshift pantry and is now in the corner of my bedroom and houses my stash of yarn and also my telly - you can just see it in the corner of the piccie above. I don't have the wine rack and have extra shelves. I love this system because you can add more shelves and different accessories as the need arises. It wasn't cheap but I really have got my moneys worth out of it and as I said it's been used in a variety of rooms already.

My newest purchase will arrive on Tuesday and I'll need to rearrange things. I've got my island bench in the kitchen, book shelf in the lounge, cupboard in the kids room and shelves in my room.

The options are.....

- move the island bench to the garage for a while, use the shelves from my room as a portable kitchen unit for all the stuff out of the island, move the books from the shelves downstairs to my new purchase and shelves upstairs to house the stash

or

-keep the island bench, move books to new purchase and shelves upstairs to house stash then move the shelves from my room to the kids room and then the bookshelf from their room to house the towels currently in a smaller shelf in the upstairs landing then move those downstairs to the lounge for the kids books.

or

ARGH!! I just don't know what to do and need to hurry up and make a decision - I need to be ready at lunch time on Tuesday for my big new delivery!! So exciting....

Close but no cigar....

.....$204.87

We had a party at work on nightshift this week and the girls requested Portugese Custard Tarts from me which I've made a few times for them now. Unfortunately the pantry didn't have the ingredients I needed so a trip to Woolies was made and I did go a little over budget.

Talking about food I am heading over to a friends house warming at her farm tonight and we are all bringing a plate of food to share. I resisted the urge to make all the usual suspects and am trying something new - Lemon Puddings from my new Donna Hay cookbook the kids gave me for mothers day. Not sure how they will go but they smell lovely ;-)

Budget Smudget

Long time....no blog...... Rather than tell you all the reasons why I haven't blogged for months I'm just going to dive right in and write about my current focus.

Given that I desperately want a new bedroom suite, a Tasmanian holiday with the kids and then a solo trip to Europe all in the next eighteen months I really needed to take a serious look at the budget and try and work out how to trim some of the fat out. My wonderful bank has an automatic budget tracker which records and categorises all my expenses which has certainly been an eye opener!! One area that I am currently trying very hard to get under control is my grocery bill.

Over the past six months my average spend has been between $500 and $600 now for a family of three which has two small children who don't eat that much I really think that it's too high. Looking at all those transactions it's not that I'm spending alot in a few shops but I'm spending $20-$30 every day or two and clearly all those little trips add up to a BIG bill. This pay fortnight is almost over with three days to go but so far my spend this fortnight on groceries is $148.39 and while I might need to buy a loaf of bread and perhaps a potato or two before pay day I'll definitely be coming in under the $200 limit I had set myself.

So - what's changed?? I'm menu planning which has been good both in terms of the actual shopping but also for the 'OMG what am I going to make tonight' thoughts. Planning has also meant that there have been significantly fewer left overs being thrown into the bin. This disturbs me in two ways - firstly that is my hard earned cash going into the trash and secondly it is a complete waste of food and that does not make me feel good. I've gotten more creative with ways of using left overs and it probably helps that I've had some great food bargains this fortnight - I found drumsticks on special at my local butcher and managed to score 12 drumsticks for $4. I baked them as a tomato based traybake with veges and that has made a meal for all of us plus another dinner for Izaak and I've just stripped the meat off the final two to add to some risotto to take to work tomorrow night.

I AM going to go to Tasmania

I WILL be getting a beautiful new bedroom setting

Europe IS GOING TO HAPPEN FOR ME

Dream. Believe. Plan. Achieve - I CAN DO IT!!